Nobody ever prepared me for goodbyes
They just came knocking at the door
Right when I was all cozy in bed.
Professors talking about final papers,
My last packet of pasta becoming waste.
The talk of seeing someone somewhere new
Old walks with familiar people that will change.
Everything will change.
The way they teased me or the way they loved me
Or the way they loved themselves.
And the things they have forgotten will be remembered
And the things they remember will have to be reminded
Or maybe they will never forget,
Maybe after all these years they will know
Who my person is,
And maybe they will raise their hand for a high five
And I will be confused in my handshake
Who knows how long greetings stay?
Maybe I am scared of my own wave
How it glides and moves and craves change
How does loss affect me
When this distance,
this cold wind, is what
starts my fire?
But things have to end for new beginnings
And so I will pack my bags and smile at my room,
Look at these people I love,
Give them hugs, “take care”s
And share a joke or two,
Creating memories till our fingers have to miles apart,
Incapable of a reminder of our tenderness.
Maybe loss hurts me,
(How can someone choose a reality away from ours?)
But in this hurt I will bleed with them,
Until our love reaches somewhere permanent.
Maybe that warmth will be enough to light a fire again?
Featured image is not my own.