“Silence everyone” // Loneliness.

Deep, dark, deafening silence hovers around me-

Next to the hair on my arms, standing upright-

Just like visions in the eyes of cataract patients,

Stopping the clock.

In this wholesome emptiness, my heartbeats

f r e e z e .

 

It is so silent in this big town of little people.

 

I turn back to school days of “silence please”

And my veins rush with blood oh

How was there a dire need for what

Now carves homes out of nothingness

 

I see hollows of abysses in the holes of my room

I wish rats would house or

vultures would feast because

These spaces have housed inside

the wholesomeness

that I

once

was.

 

Silence permeates through wall and skin.

Silence permeates through skin

and

Walls keep breaking down before my eyes.

Stop them before I carve my own kind of sweet hell.

stop them.

please.

~~~

To everyone out there: I am okay.

In a train of thoughts I tracked through what silence could mean for some particular characters in my head and that simply took a dark turn. I really enjoyed discovering the topic of silence through this poem today and I would want to do more of these soon. Sorry for posting after so long. I want to post more often this summer. See you soon!

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Sunset Waves

Rocking me to sleep
They woke me again.
It was give and take
And give and take
And surprise surprise-
Here comes a wave!
All joy and happiness
Until the sun drowns.

Until the sun drowns
The waters call out,
Lovingly they plead for me
Like they would die for me.
Every embrace, every touch
They try to convince me,
But I’m far too drunk
And in love, to concede.

And in love, to concede,
They show me their impurities.
The sand and gravel underneath
All their sparkling transparencies.
I wash my old, confused face
And they soon drift far away.
My eyes cry out, asking the ocean-
“Leave me now; it’s already seven!”

“Leave me now; it’s already seven!!”
They echo back, scared of the dark.
I know their misery of night:
The stars never reach back in time,
The moon is just a pretty illusion-
It fades away and leaves again.
Penance in the dark waters,
The fish squeal and hide.

The fish squeal and hide,
I wish I could calm them.
But I just walk away, then.
It’s too late and too powerful-
The punishment of the sunset waves.
But, if I could do anything
I would sit there all night
Returning every embrace.

~~~
This is a poem come out of my experience of the beaches in Goa. It was a wonderful, four day trip and I’m so glad it moved me enough to write poetry after such a long time. Credits to my resourceful friends(when do I ever carry paper and pen?), the beautiful weather in my college (when I was writing this) and the girl on my mind all the time. I’m so happy to be back here. I’ll return with a wonderful piece soon!

The AC breathes metaphors in my life.

It’s all happening and not happening at the same time
Like the near-normal AC temperature in this hotel room

Body fat depleting, brain cells increasing,
Accents developing and arguments changing.

Like the chuk chuk of the Mumbai local,
I go non-stop; the matrix come to life.

Yet, in this whirlwind of hurried changes,
Those moments of metamorphosis go unnoticed.

Like how those treacherous mosquitos devour me
All night, waking me to bruises I have no memory of.

(A foreign situation, I really must confess)
I wish there were a repellent for college.

It’s happening too soon; I’m just 18
But actually, this is all I really wanted.

It’s very confusing; a labyrinth of decisions,
A burning broth of growth; take me away.

Everyday I get up, waiting for the rainbow,
But the howling storm takes its time to sleep.

Still one day, when I’ll open my yawning windows,
The warm sunshine will be here to embrace me.

~~~

Hey lovelies,

I’m so sorry for not posting anything last week. My transition to college is a little tough on me, but I’m confident I’ll be fine. Hopefully, I’ll post more often because my University gives me a LOT to think about. Have a great day today and remember, things are GOING to be fine. Trust yourself.

Yours truly,

Charuvi