New endings

Nobody ever prepared me for goodbyes

They just came knocking at the door

Right when I was all cozy in bed.

Professors talking about final papers,

My last packet of pasta becoming waste.

The talk of seeing someone somewhere new

Old walks with familiar people that will change.

 

Everything will change.

The way they teased me or the way they loved me

Or the way they loved themselves.

And the things they have forgotten will be remembered

And the things they remember will have to be reminded

Then.

Or maybe they will never forget,

Maybe after all these years they will know

And fondly,

Who my person is,

And maybe they will raise their hand for a high five

And I will be confused in my handshake

Who knows how long greetings stay?

 

Maybe I am scared of my own wave

How it glides and moves and craves change

How does loss affect me

When this distance,

this cold wind, is what

starts my fire?

 

But things have to end for new beginnings

And so I will pack my bags and smile at my room,

Look at these people I love,

Give them hugs, “take care”s

And share a joke or two,

Creating memories till our fingers have to miles apart,

Incapable of a reminder of our tenderness.

 

Maybe loss hurts me,

(How can someone choose a reality away from ours?)

But in this hurt I will bleed with them,

Until our love reaches somewhere permanent.

Who knows,

Maybe that warmth will be enough to light a fire again?

 

~~~

Featured image is not my own.

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Cheeky treasures in goodbye

Go ahead, I won’t resist.

Hit at me with all you have

Emotion pouring through a hole on your side

Not a leakage, darling.

Embrace me with the warmth of cheeks grazing

And us holding each other for just a second longer.

Say what you could never tell me with eyes confessing.

Just a second longer,

Caress me with your gentle love

Until again, I am awed.

Gaze at me endlessly like the sunflower

Because the minute you close your eyes,

It is time to turn away.

Some things were never meant to be put in words

But we said them today

Oops and regret built up, sure,

But in the moment we were gold

A little crazy contained inside

And a lot more crazy without.

Without is such a heartbreaking word

Because I have never said this but

I fear being without

Why, should it ever be applied,

You may forget and my without may never become within again.

You live in the breeze going by in July

But I hope it doesn’t take you away from me.

Reach out with a hand and I’ll climb with you

Let me climb.

And so I climb.

Away from whom I want discover

The person I desire to swim inside of.

Some treasures aren’t meant for now

But damn are they priceless.